The Golden Calf in the Mirror

I tend to have selective selflessness.  There are certain people in my life that I would give the shirt off my back to, but most of the time, I only think of myself, never putting others needs before my own...  I wish I could say that there are lots of people I would give the shirt off my back to, but sadly, that would not be true.  Only a very few have experienced a selfless Karen...

When I do live in an attitude of giving and selflessness, it hasn't been based on how much I love a person.  In fact, I can be the most selfish around those I love the most.  There are just certain people that seem to invoke a selfless spirit within me...

I am not by nature a people pleaser.   But maybe, if I were to be honest with myself, there is a component of people-pleasing which motivates me to act selfless toward certain people which turns a selfless act into a selfish act; serving my own need for affirmation rather than genuinely serving the other person.

The Golden Calf in the Mirror stares back at me demanding worship; it's all about Karen, Karen, Karen.

They have made for themselves a golden calf and have worshiped it and sacrificed to it...  

Exodus 32:8

Selfish act after selfish act crafted the golden calf in the mirror.

Reinforced behavior that consumes...  ME, ME, ME

For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh...

Romans 8:5

For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.

James 3:16

I recently started reading A Prisoner and Yet by Corrie Ten Boom.  A book of reflections highlighting the many evidences of God's presence with Corrie in the concentration camp and His strength which carried her through some of the most horrific circumstances a person could endure.

Corrie describes a time spent in solitary confinement where the Lord blessed her with weekly Red Cross care packages containing sandwiches and delectable treats which lifted her spirits in otherwise detestable circumstances.  She spent six weeks in solitary confinement with no other human contact except when they threw her daily rations or weekly care package to her.  Then a day came when her cell door was swung open and a frightened woman was thrust into her cell.  Corrie was so happy to finally have a companion.  She wanted to make her new cell mate as comfortable as possible.  It filled Corrie with great joy to share the food and treats from her Red Cross care package with the woman. She had longed to share her food with someone else... to share the blessing...

Sadly, I could not at all relate to this selfless act.  Anyone can tell you that when it comes to food, ESPECIALLY when I am hungry, watch out!  I admit that if there are two pieces of cake left, I will take the bigger piece.  Or if I have packed a snack and someone else hasn't and we are in a situation where lunch or dinner will be delayed, and they are just as hungry as I am, I won't share my snack.  I can't believe I am even admitting this!  It is really not pretty - not pretty at all...

Yet here Corrie was, in deplorable conditions, with very little food to eat daily, hungry, dirty and cold, who when she finally receives these wonderful treats from the Red Cross care package, all she can think of is that she wished she could share the blessing with someone else.  And indeed, when the opportunity presents itself, that is EXACTLY what she does, and with great joy!

O what conviction I felt reading Corrie's words!  How selfless! Thinking of others comfort before her own.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one 

another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

Corrie's life was lived selflessly with Christ at the center.  The Jewish people fled to Corrie's family's underground oasis for protection; where she compassionately served each and every person that came through their doors.  Corrie thrived on serving.

Even while being interrogated during her imprisonment, she boldly stated that when she was released, she would devote her life to serving and helping others.  Selfless acts that had already cost her dearly...  She would do all over again...

 And he said to them, “Thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘Put your sword on your side each of you, and go to and fro from gate to gate throughout the camp, and each of you kill his brother and his companion and his neighbor.’” And the sons of Levi did according to the word of Moses. And that day about three thousand men of the people fell.  And Moses said, “Today you have been ordained for the service of the Lord, each one at the cost of his son and of his brother, so that he might bestow a blessing upon you this day.”

Exodus 32:27-29

The Truth of the above verses in Exodus hit me hard with conviction...

Serving with the Lord comes at a cost; dying to self, and obeying God's call, no matter how hard the request.

I don't know about you, but surrender of self can be so hard, ESPECIALLY when the Lord is calling me to do a hard thing.

Yet indeed we are called to die to self daily and live out each day for Him.

and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, 

but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.

2 Corinthians 5:15

The words of the above verse seared my soul.  Do I truly live for Christ each and every day??  Sadly, I do not.

Oh that 2 Corinthians 5:15 would be on my mind every minute of every day.  How selfless would my life be if I would no longer live for myself but for Him who died and rose again for ME!

Reading about Corrie Ten  Boom's home life, her compassionate service to the Jewish people, and her love for the Lord was intoxicating.   I found myself caught up in the moments as they were described.  Corrie gave 150% in selfless acts of love.  Her beautiful testimony welled up a strong desire in me to begin to live selflessly.

Even though self can feel like it overrules our lives, I truly believe that we, as Children of God, are wired to be selfless.

Look at how many opportunities God provides to each of us to meet another persons needs throughout any given day.  If we are honest with ourselves, there are countless ways in a day to serve others.

I think that indeed helping and serving others, with pure motives, as ambassadors for Christ, can be intoxicating, creating a desire to serve more and more.

O that we would have eyes to see past self to the needs of others and hearts to seek a life lived selflessly for Christ.

The Golden Calf in the Mirror will then fade away, and the reflection of Christ will shine brightly.


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