4 Scripture-Based Strategies for a Stress Free Marriage

When you first fall in love and get married, everything is rainbows and unicorns.  It's almost like living in a state of euphoria.   Even during a bad day, your thoughts will drift back to the one you love with the knowledge that you are loved by them, and the bad day doesn't seem so bad anymore...  It might not even enter your mind that there will be stress in your marriage.  But then the honeymoon phase wears off...  And the stresses of life enter into the marriage.  But take heart, we are going to look at 5 Biblical Strategies for a Stress Free Marriage.

Remove Stress in Marriage by Being a Team

There are many external stressors that will showcase whether you and your spouse are working as a team...   

Selfishness

The Google Dictionary definition of selfish is as follows:

concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others. 2 : arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others a selfish act.

The definition sounds downright ugly, but indeed has human beings, we can all fall prey to selfishness at one point or another.  

When selfishness enters into a marriage, it can bring all manner of stress. 

Selfishness can show itself in many ways within a marriage.  Whether it be, making plans without consideration for your spouse; going against a request that your spouse has made; seeking that which only makes you happy, just to name a few.

God's Word tells us...

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 

Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 

not looking to your own interests 

but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2:3-4

In our human weakness, Philippians 2:3-4 doesn't always happen easily.  It is something that must be practiced and prayed for, especially in the moment.

When we seek after the interest of our spouses in all things, we will experience a stress free marriage.

Parenting

It is so important before marriage to ensure that your views on parenting are similar.  And once you are married, that you carry out a united front with all the issues that parenting can bring.

Train up a child in the way he should go; 

even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, 

but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children, 

lest they become discouraged.

Colossians 3:21

Husband and wives who parent as a team in a calm and loving way will produce children who feel more secure thus creating a happy home overall and a stress free marriage.

In-Laws

For the most part, both the husband and the wife bring to the marriage points of view from their own upbringing that form the way they act and react to things.  I remember reading somewhere that before you get married, make sure you like the character traits of your future in-laws because, in most cases, those character traits will ultimately show themselves in your spouses.  (I'm sure you've all seen the funny commercial which uses humor to showcase exactly that.)

As sinful creatures, we can fall into a trait or behavior that will cause stress to another person.  This is magnified in the marriage setting.

But when we are working as a husband and wife team, whatever flaws we bring to the table, will be worked out through compromise and understanding within the marriage.  Our support will go to our spouses, not to the desires or wishes of the in-law that might be causing the issue within your marriage.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 

and they will become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

I believe this Scripture should apply to everything related to marriage.  You have not only become one flesh, but you have also become a team who works together, not against each other, but for each other, which will ensure a stress free marriage.

Remove Stress in Marriage by Aligning your Views on Spending & Finances

I could've included spending and finances with the section about husband's and wives being a team, but I felt this subject deserved its own heading.

When Believers come together in marriage, the hope would be that their Biblical views are aligned when it comes to subjects like spending and finances, but that might not always be the case...

Then there are couples who are not Believers when they get married and maybe one becomes a Believer after they are married, but the other does not right away or at all...

Even in those cases, whether you are a Believer or a non-Believer, wisdom from the Bible is the best way to conduct yourself in life and that includes finances.

The following verses speak for themselves regarding the standard for a husband and wife to align their views on spending and finances:

Spending Wisely

For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?

Luke 14:28

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

Luke 12:15

Do not weary yourself to gain wealth,

Cease from your consideration of it.

When you set your eyes on it, it is gone.

For wealth certainly makes itself wings

Like an eagle that flies toward the heavens.

Proverbs 23:4-5

Tithing

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

Luke 6:38

Honor the Lord with your possessions,

And with the firstfruits of all your increase;

So your barns will be filled with plenty,

And your vats will overflow with new wine.

Proverbs 3:9-10

God Will Provide

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and[a] we cannot take anything out of the world.  But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

1 Timothy 6:6-12

 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:28-34

When you and your spouse follow the Lord's commands and encouragements regarding finances and spending, you will enjoy a stress free marriage.

Remove Stress in Marriage by Taking Care of Yourself

You might be thinking, but Karen, doesn't this fly in the face of not being selfish that you spoke about earlier?  Not in this context.  Just like they say about moms, "a happy mom is a happy house", the same can be said about spouses, each in their own right.  When each person in a marriage partnership takes care of themselves physically, emotionally and most especially spiritually, they are also serving their spouse.

The following verses highlight the importance of self-care:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, 

who is in you, whom you have received from God? 

You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. 

Therefore honor God with your bodies.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health,

 as it goes well with your soul.

3 John 1:2

casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.  Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.  Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.

1 Peter 5:7-9

And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.

Mark 6:31

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places 

and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, 

like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

Isaiah 58:11

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.Isaiah 26:3

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,

Ephesians 5:18

These are but a few verses about self-care.  Basically, the entire Bible is the best self-care book you could read.

When you are taking care of your body, mind and soul, as the Lord has called you to, you will have a stress free marriage.

Remove Stress in Marriage by Loving Each Other in Sickness 

Unfortunately, sickness can be one of the biggest stressors to a marriage, especially a prolonged or chronic situation.  Added to the worry for your spouse, one can grow weary of the day to day tasks you are shouldering while the other is sick or unable to help out.

I think depression and anxiety can be a real struggle in marriages because unless you suffer with it yourself, you cannot understand the full weight of that affliction.

Yet no matter what, we are called to love our spouse in sickness.

The following verses show us how to love our spouses in sickness:

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Galations 6:2

 Love is patient and kind

1 Corinthians 13:4a

But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.

Exodus 17:12

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

When you  honor the Lord in this, He will give you strength and stamina to love your spouse in sickness, and although the stress of the situation may be the same, the stress in your marriage will be relieved because you are honoring your spouse while honoring God.

May you all experience stress free marriages as you faithfully employ these 4 scripture-based strategies for a stress free marriage.

For similar posts, please click on the following:

Are You a Team Player?

Giving From God's Abundance

Mindfulness Meditation in the Christian Life

A Love that Believes All Things

Breaking the Stigma of Biblical Submission: What Biblical Submission is and is not

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