My Time in Prison

In today's post, My Time in Prison, I share about a difficult time in my life when my health had essentially imprisoned me and how the Lord ministered to me during that time.  It is my prayer that my story will offer hope and encouragement for anyone who might find themselves in a time of suffering right now.

My Time In Prison - And so it began...

Many years ago, when I first embarked on our family's homeschooling journey, I also had a medical transcription business.  After teaching the children their lessons, they would work independently while I transcribed, usually four hours a day.  The schedule worked out quite nicely for everyone...

Until, a  month into my first year of  homeschooling, I started to develop severe anxiety, dizziness and extreme weakness.  My youngest, at the time, was only in 1st grade, and my oldest was in 5th grade.  My husband couldn't take too many days off to help me, especially as the sickness dragged on.  And we didn't have family nearby that I could call upon.  This added to my anxiety as I felt the weight of being my children's sole caregiver when I could barely care for myself...

The doctors were perplexed as to what was causing my symptoms.  One doctor thought it might be a severe sinus infection and put me on heavy-duty antibiotics.  My endocrinologist thought it might be euthyroid sick syndrome.  I was somewhat relieved to "have a name" for my malady even though there wasn't anything definitive about that possible diagnosis, AND it didn't lesson the severity of the situation.  All my tests came up negative for mono, which my symptoms definitely mimicked.

The weakness I suffered with was incredible!  I couldn't even walk up the hall without my husband helping me.  My anxiety level was to the point that I actually wanted some type of anti-anxiety medication to aid in my symptoms.  And anyone who knows me knows I HATE taking medication!  Thankfully, my doctor did not want to prescribe anything like that, and I say thankfully, because as I would see in hindsight, the severity of my anxiety was related to the mystery illness.

Yet through it all, I somehow continued to homeschool from the couch and managed to complete my medical transcription work each day...

The Lord sustained me every step of the way...  But. in the midst of that trial, I failed to recognize His presence.

I became depressed and angry when each morning I would wake up with no sign of improvement.

About four weeks into the illness, my situation worsened and I ended up spending a day in the hospital where it was discovered I was severely dehydrated.  After being pumped full of IV saline, I felt like the Pillsbury Dough Boy!   The hospital released me finding nothing unusual in my blood work.  I was so discouraged to be leaving the hospital with no answers and feeling just as weak as I did when I entered...

My only consolation through this sickness, was talking to my friend Wendy who oddly enough was having similar symptoms to mine.  Yet talking on the phone would deplete my energy so quickly.

My Time in Prison - Self-Imposed Solitary Confinement

I was not in a good place spiritually as a result of what seemed like a never-ending sickness.  I essentially turned away from God rather than running and clinging to Him.  I didn't pray or read the Bible, the very things that would have strengthened me despite my physically weakened state.  I became frustrated with myself for not drawing near to God.

It was a very dark time for me.  I felt like I was in prison with no hope for parole...

My Time in Prison - Deliverance

And then one morning, in God's infinite mercy, I turned a corner.  I actually felt a little bit stronger.

In the days to follow, I began counting the small victories, like walking up the hall unaided, standing for longer periods of time, and walking around the house more and more; until one day all my strength was back!  I was free!  Free from the past six weeks I had spent in prison.

I don't have a testimony like a brother in the Lord of mine who experienced a severe bout with bipolar.  He was hospitalized, but despite his manic episode, he witnessed to other patients at the psychiatric facility about the love of Christ.  Clearly God took what appeared to be a bad situation from human standards and turned it into a great victory for the Kingdom.

My testimony was quite the contrary since I was basically "kicking and screaming" through the whole illness.

But God...

God used that time in prison for me to develop a trust in Him with trials that seem to be never-ending or maybe even hopeless.  A beacon to look back on and remember, God is the Great Deliverer who delivers in His perfect timing in His perfect way for His perfect purposes.

God has also used that situation in my life for ministering to others who are suffering with long-term illnesses to give them hope that God is in the business of deliverance and can redeem any situation how He lovingly determines.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, 

plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

My Time In Prison - A Time of Testimony

I found myself in prison again, this time for a quick stay...

I have shared in other blog posts that years ago I had discovered a lump in my neck that ended up being a good sized thyroid nodule which needed to be biopsied.  This struck fear in me at first!  Even though the doctor said, "If you have to get cancer, this is the best kind."  Really??

This time, instead of running from God, I mobilized God.  I had every prayer chain praying for me.  I also prayed fervently for myself for the Lord to bring healing to me.  I trusted Him with the thyroid nodule because He made my body and knows EVERYTHING about it.  Nothing is a surprise to Him!

The first biopsy came back with an inadequate specimen to test.  The doctor said they could try to do another biopsy in a week, but he was doubtful it would yield anything usable.  He was preparing me for what he believed would ultimately happen - a thyroidectomy.

But I continued to run to God and mobilize prayer warriors...

The biopsied nodule ended up growing back even bigger than the first time!  This seemed disconcerting to say the least!

But in looking back, I believe the nodule growing bigger, is what ultimately allowed the doctor to get an adequate specimen.  What seemed like a bad indicator, was actually the means whereby the good specimen was collected.  A specimen that came back showing "NO CANCER", and no need for a thyroidectomy!

Within a short time of initially discovering the lump, I had the peace of knowing that it was benign.

Throughout that brief trial, I was able to testify about what I expected my God to do and ultimately share before several congregations at a joint hymn sing about God's healing power.  Not only that, I was able to testify to my doctor, who was not a Christian, about the power of prayer and God's amazing love.

My Time in Prison - God's Sovereign Purposes

About that time Herod the king laid violent hands on some who belonged to the church.  He killed James the brother of John with the sword,  and when he saw that it pleased the Jews, he proceeded to arrest Peter also. This was during the days of Unleavened Bread.  And when he had seized him, he put him in prison, delivering him over to four squads of soldiers to guard him, intending after the Passover to bring him out to the people.  So Peter was kept in prison, but earnest prayer for him was made to God by the church.    Now when Herod was about to bring him out, on that very night, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries before the door were guarding the prison.  And behold, an angel of the Lord stood next to him, and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him, saying, “Get up quickly.” And the chains fell off his hands.  And the angel said to him, “Dress yourself and put on your sandals.” And he did so. And he said to him, “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me.”  And he went out and followed him. He did not know that what was being done by the angel was real, but thought he was seeing a vision.  When they had passed the first and the second guard, they came to the iron gate leading into the city. It opened for them of its own accord, and they went out and went along one street, and immediately the angel left him.  When Peter came to himself, he said, “Now I am sure that the Lord has sent his angel and rescued me from the hand of Herod and from all that the Jewish people were expecting.”

 When he realized this, he went to the house of Mary, the mother of John whose other name was Mark, where many were gathered together and were praying.  And when he knocked at the door of the gateway, a servant girl named Rhoda came to answer.  Recognizing Peter's voice, in her joy she did not open the gate but ran in and reported that Peter was standing at the gate. They said to her, “You are out of your mind.” But she kept insisting that it was so, and they kept saying, “It is his angel!”  But Peter continued knocking, and when they opened, they saw him and were amazed. But motioning to them with his hand to be silent, he described to them how the Lord had brought him out of the prison. And he said, “Tell these things to James and to the brothers.” Then he departed and went to another place.

Acts 12:1-17

God used the Apostle Peter's time in prison to miraculously deliver him, quickly directing his steps to the brethren so that he could testify to them all that the Lord had done.

..they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace before the rulers. And when they had brought them to the magistrates, they said, “These men are Jews, and they are disturbing our city. They advocate customs that are not lawful for us as Romans to accept or practice.”  The crowd joined in attacking them, and the magistrates tore the garments off them and gave orders to beat them with rods.  And when they had inflicted many blows upon them, they threw them into prison, ordering the jailer to keep them safely.  Having received this order, he put them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks.  

About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone's bonds were unfastened.  When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and twas about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped.  But Paul cried with a loud voice, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.”  And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas.  Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house.  And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family. Then he brought them up into his house and set food before them. And he rejoiced along with his entire household that he had believed in God.

But when it was day, the magistrates sent the police, saying, “Let those men go.” And the jailer reported these words to Paul, saying, “The magistrates have sent to let you go. Therefore come out now and go in peace.”  But Paul said to them, “They have beaten us publicly, uncondemned, men who are Roman citizens, and have thrown us into prison; and do they now throw us out secretly? No! Let them come themselves and take us out.”  The police reported these words to the magistrates, and they were afraid when they heard that they were Roman citizens.  So they came and apologized to them. And they took them out and asked them to leave the city.  So 

they went out of the prison and visited Lydia. And when they had seen the brothers, they encouraged them and departed.

Acts 16:19-40

The Apostle Paul, while in prison, finds himself in a similar miraculous situation as the Apostle Peter did in the earlier account, yet he and Silas DID NOT leave when the prison doors flew open. The very act of staying in the prison cell despite the miracle was the means by which the Philippian jailer and his whole household came to a saving knowledge of Jesus.   Not only was an entire family converted, but Paul and Silas' time in prison and the events that took place became an offering of encouragement to the brethren.

My Time in Prison - A Story of Hope

Do you feel imprisoned?  Are you in a time of trial that seems like it will never end?  

You may be waiting for a medical test result; healing for your marriage; salvation for your children; a loved one to be released from the bondage of addiction; relief from mental illness or the impending death of a loved one or even yourself from a terminal illness.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Romans 8:25

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,

and in his word I put my hope.

Psalm 130:5

Oh I pray that you will be encouraged by the Apostle Peter and the Apostle Paul, both of whom did not become discouraged in prison, but relied on the prayers of the Faithful as they themselves sang hymns, and rejoiced with great expectation for the God of Hope to bring deliverance, all the while testifying to the great love of God the Father.  God ordained both Peter's brief stay and Paul's extended stay in prison to accomplish His perfect will.

Our Heavenly Father may also ordain times in prison for us...  Having a Kingdom perspective in those short-term and long-term trials will bring us comfort knowing that our loving Father is accomplishing His perfect will for our lives and the lives of others.

I believe that one of the greatest gifts God gives us besides His precious Son's gift of Grace, is HOPE. We have Hope in Christ Jesus for EVERYTHING.   We can have that Hope because everything that touches us comes through the Father's loving hands.  

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

Oh!  May we all trust God in and through our circumstances.  

And if like me, you have found yourself withdrawing from the Lord in your trials, may you be strengthened knowing that I have prayed for you that your faith will not fail. And when you have turned back, {you will} strengthen your brothers {and sisters in the Lord}...

Our time in prison may be brief or extended.   It's hard not to be inwardly focused during our time of trial, but indeed, the time we spend in prison, God will use for the edification of others and His own Glory.  Let us be obedient vessels to that end.

For more posts to encourage your walk of faith, especially in anxious times and suffering, please click the following links:

Open My Eyes that I May See 

God's Faithfulness Shines Brightest in the Darkest Hours

God's Waiting For You in the Fire

Let our victory in Jesus be evident to all, even when we find ourselves in prison...

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