When your Life Tests your Life Verse

Be strong and courageous. 

Do not fear or be in dread of them, 

for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. 

He will not leave you or forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6

As a fairly new believer, I found great comfort in Deuteronomy 31:6 {see above} It was during that time that I was suffering with panic attacks, especially when having to drive somewhere alone.  I would also suffer with severe anxiety when having to face situations that I was uncomfortable with.  I took God at His word through this verse and would envision Him already at my destination, yet riding in the car next to me.  Or already at the doctor's appointment, yet with me while I was getting ready to leave.  The Lord ministered to me time and time again through this verse so that my panic attacks stopped and my anxiety lessened.  

And so my life verse was born...

Then life went on...

...I went through a time of prosperity where things were going well emotionally and physically.  

 During times of prosperity, it is important to spend as much time in the Word and in prayer as possible, for then you have a storehouse to draw from during the lean years when it may be difficult to pray or be in the Word.

(I talked about the pitfalls of wasting times of prosperity in my blog post, The Seventh Year:  How to survive anxious moments which you can read here.)

Unfortunately, for me, I did waste some of those prosperous years and instead of focusing on Jesus to be with me and go before me, I was focusing on the worry and trying to do things in my own strength again.  You can read more about letting go of worry in my blog post, Just Let Go:  Learning to Trust Again here.

I remember Beth Moore saying on several occasions that you want to "pass God's test the first time so you don't have take a make-up exam".  lol.  And lately, I feel that way.  The past couple of years, my life verse has been tested over and over again to the point that I am in the Deuteronomy 31:6 remedial program.  lol.

I have experienced loneliness with either friends moving away physically or just friendships that have grown apart. I have experienced a few years of emotional upsets and have now segued into a year of health issues. 

This week was the culmination of testing my life's verse which I'm hoping will be my final exam in Deuteronomy 31:6 as I want to finally get it right by clinging to the Lord and allowing Him to minister to me.

I have been hit on every side with different circumstances each effecting different aspects of my life from work, to home, to family, to my own health.  And not just minor circumstances, but  major!

I don't know if any of you other bloggers have founds this, but I also feel the Lord testing me with my own blog posts...

Over a month ago I wrote the post I mentioned earlier, The Seventh Year:  How to survive anxious moments, when things were relatively calm.  Well, the week I scheduled that blog post to publish was indeed the week of testing I mentioned earlier that was filled with anxious moments including riding in the front seat of an ambulance while they were transporting my husband to the hospital for extreme dizziness.  He has been in the hospital for six days now and we are hopeful that he may come home today.  He has vestibular neuritis caused by a viral infection.  In addition, I am waiting for some medical test results to come back AND our peaceful  backyard sanctuary is being threatened by a 33 house subdivision which will strip away all our trees and shade and basically land two houses just a few feet from our rock wall and will basically be in our backyard.

But it then became apparent during these crises that I had indeed filled up over the summer when I committed to rest and reset which you can read about here.  I was prepared for the Seventh Year...

I have felt the Lord give me courage to do things that in the past would've left me paralyzed.  I feel His strength and presence with me through all of this.  I am behaving in a manner that seems supernatural to me.  I am not going to lie, my body is feeling the effects of this high anxiety week.  I am emotionally and physically exhausted. BUT, as I said to our small group, I am oddly at peace and for me that IS strange!   lol.  But with God there is nothing strange about it.  He IS my Peace.  He has indeed gone with me and has not forsaken me.

During last week, the Lord led me to blog posts that ministered to me in the EXACT way I needed to at that moment OR my devotional reading would encourage me in such a profound and specific way.  

But most especially, because I was so busy, distracted, and exhausted, I found the Lord consistently bringing verse after verse and spiritual concept after concept to my mind which I had stored up this past summer and then He ministered to me through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Although I would prefer not to be going through these experiences, even in my exhausted state, I feel stronger in my faith than I ever have before, and so for that I am grateful.

I'll be honest, most of my prayers have been answered with a "no" or a "wait",  and I can feel my faith start to waver, but then the Lord brings to mind this stanza from  Lauren Daigle's song...

When You don't move the mountains

I'm needing You to move

When You don't part the waters

I wish I could walk through

When You don't give the answers

As I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You

Which has now become my mantra...

I am praising God for my life verse which promise He has not failed me in and He never will.

God is faithful [He is reliable, trustworthy and ever true to His promise—He can be depended on], 

1 Corinthians 1:9 (Amp.)

**Update**

While typing this blog post, I received a text from my husband and he is coming home today!  :-)

Thank you Lord!


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